倾听:无言的技能

在招聘新员工的时候, 各大公司都在寻找勤奋和勤奋兼备的候选人 软技能，而根据 Indeed, 沟通技巧 are at the top of the list for almost any position.

This makes sense when you consider that we spend 80% of our day in some type of communication, 根据… study 发表在《幸运28计划》上. Of that time, we spend 30% speaking, 16% reading, 9% writing and 45% listening.

As illustrated by the phrase "in one ear and out the other," listening is not the same as hearing. Hearing is something that we do without thinking and without consciously trying to remember. 例如, 你可能会在夜里被一声巨响惊醒, 但这并不意味着你在听. 另一方面, listening requires you to consciously make an effort to focus on what you’re hearing and consider it. 

Because listening plays such a significant role in our 沟通技巧 and job performance, becoming a better listener can make you a more competitive job candidate. Organizations need good listeners to foster a positive and productive work environment, as even the best message fails to have any impact on someone who does not listen to it.

成为一个更好的倾听者, 试着练习积极倾听, which is a technique that involves using all of our senses to fully pay attention to a speaker. 以下是一些建议:   

It’s easy to become distracted by external and internal forces such as a loud noise, 突然的运动, 你的手机, email, stress, 令人头痛的问题——这个清单还在继续. 尽量减少干扰, 试着把你的手机, other electronics and any distracting items out of arm’s reach or even in another room. If you’re participating in a video conference, close out your email and all other applications. A dedicated office space or meeting room can also help keep external forces at bay, especially if you train your brain to associate the area with important conversations and intense focus. For times when you need to quiet your mind and hush internal distractions, 试着练习正念技巧和呼吸练习.

Actions speak louder than words, and this is certainly applicable to listening. 积极倾听时, you should be aware of non-verbal cues and pay attention to what the speaker's tone and body language are telling you. 如果某人明显心烦意乱或兴奋, your listening behavior should also reflect an appropriate response. You can show you’re actively engaged with your body language by:  

• 点头
• 微笑和使用其他面部表情来传达情感
• 当别人说话时保持眼神交流
• 记下要点，但不要一直记
• 在环境允许的情况下口头说“是”或“嗯嗯”

3. 提供反馈

作为一个倾听者, your primary role is to pay attention to understand and retain what is being communicated to you. This sometimes requires you to ask questions, and that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s another way to show the speaker that you’re paying attention and that you care about what they’re communicating.

如果合适的话, 你也可以给出你的意见, but try not to think about your responses while the other person is still talking – it’s distracting and can inhibit your ability to actively listen. 另外, 尽量限制重大的情绪反应, such as anger or frustration as they can blind you from the speaker's intended message.

提供反馈的一些方法包括:   

• Asking for additional information or resources on specific topics
• Asking for clarity on a concept you didn’t quite understand or fully hear
• Reflecting on what has been said and paraphrasing it in your own words 
• 在谈话结束时总结关键要点

成为一个更好的倾听者, you must consistently practice and implement active listening in your daily routine. Here are some scenarios where you can practice active listening and other interpersonal 沟通技巧:

• Meetings. 在工作中，会议有时会被消极地看待, 但这并不一定是一次糟糕的经历. By staying on task, gathering and sharing useful information, meetings can be productive. 做一个积极的倾听者和参与者也会对你有帮助 保持忙碌，即使会议是虚拟的. 
• 集团幸运28计划. 像会议, 集团幸运28计划 can sometimes be frustrating when group members don’t communicate effectively. However, 82%的雇主 in one survey said that working well in a team is an important skill they look for in future employees. 倾听对方的关切，发挥彼此的优势, 小组幸运28计划可以是一种积极而富有成效的经历. 
• Calls. 不管是开会，还是和朋友见面，甚至是 电话面试打电话是练习积极倾听技巧的好方法.